New Players and Vintage Champagne
After todays shock result, Woodham's manager Robbie Worley was seen checking the same players that came off the pitch in Wapping boarded the bus back to Woodham. He was quoted to the Echo saying 'That was the best away performance of my management career, I want to make sure these are all my players'. Sources close to the club say 27 players boarded and only 26 arrived.
The clubs latest recruit, Jose Taviel, was also seen with what looked like the Wapping teamsheet. Rumours are rife that Worley sent Taviel out with his best pal Manual Posada to try and gleam some inside information into Wappings team tactics. The club expenses show 6 bottles of vintage champagne were consumed on the same evening. We'll let the supporters of Wapping and Woodham draw their own conclusions....
Woodham have made wholesale changes during the offseason to try and bolster the team as they prepare for another tough IV season. In comes Kian Thomason, the clubs record signing, goals are expected from him this season after Nick O'Sullivan left due to a shortage of goals last season.
Also leaving were Max Campbell and Simon Woods. Both products of Woodhams renowned youth academy. They are replaced by Teddy Jumas, an outstanding IM player that ensures the Warriors MF is the best in the league again.
Woodham's bus charter failed to arrive this morning for the short trip to London for the top of the table clash with Wapping. Coach Nagelreiter took it upon himself to march the boys down to West Byfleet station for the commute into London.
On the train Nagelreiter gave his final instructions for the match but noticed one of the passengers, cunningly disguised in a Wapping home kit, recording the team talk on his I-phone. Expectation is that opposition manager 'Jock Strap' will know the teams formation, tactics and substitutions before the game starts this afternoon.
Meanwhile Bransfield, Sullivan and Bolly were last seen at the rear of the train tucking into the prematch snacks of 'Soup of Pescador' and 'Balko Biscuits' in preparation for this afternoons football feast.
A multi-million pound law suit will be bought against the Polish bus company, Kurowicki bus charters, if Woodham fail to win this afternoon.
The board would like to announce that long term striker Nagelreiter has completed his FIFA coaching badges and has been duly promoted to first team coach. The previous first team coach, Michelet, has been appointed Hall of Fame status for taking the club to IV for the first time.
The board wishes Nagelreiter luck as the club push for promotion to III.
Coach Michelet mysteriously re-appeared on Tuesday night after 7 months away from the club. The club promptly lost in the 4th round of the cup for the first time in ages. Sources at the club have denied that ex striker Nagelreiter is about to take over the full time coach position. Although there have been suggestions that star midfielder Bransfield could become the new player coach. The board, as always, denied to comment on idle speculation
Michelet has not been seen at the club since Steffan Tsjovil was put up for sale on Sunday. Rumours suggesting he has quit have been denied by club sources.
In other news, Steffan Tsjovil told club owners after the arrival of Curtis Loughrey that he would like to move to a club in Scandanavia. His departure late this afternoon sees the end of an era for the midfield of Warriors, meanwhile the search goes on for the coach. Simon Woods has withdrawn his transfer request and is ready to fight for his place in the team.
Coach Michelet was totally confused by the owners recent signing. 'We don't need midfielders, I want a top quality striker' he was heard saying in the monthly board meeting on Friday. 'Denny, Max and Steffen have been playing exceptionally well, why would I break up a winning combination. I have the upmost confidence in the 3 of them to get possession and win this afternoons match against Running Man' he told local media before this afternoon's game.
However there are reports that Simon Woods has handed in a transfer request as his days seem numbered now the team have 5 top quality inner midfielders.
Whatever the result expect further changes to the Woodham team before the start of next season.
Coach Michelet was found counting chickens at the local farm today after 24 hours of searching the local streets. Reporters from the local paper had been waiting for comments from the coach and had spoken to club captain Julian Nagelreiter to try and determine Michelet's wherabouts. Julian said 'He's off his rocker, all season he has been telling us to play it cool, after the loss to Blackheath we thought he would get the sack but he keep saying 'Play it cool', we did and we've won the league!'
When reporters finally caught up with Michelet they asked why he was at the local farm, Michelet responded 'I had a few glasses of bubbly after the historic win against Blackearn and the next thing I know I woke up in the chicken coop'. When asked what his least favourite animal was the answer was brief 'Rats, dirty rats'.
The local paper printed the follow headline the next day 'Warriors replace rats in IV coop' to try and sum up the last days events.
Rumours are rife around Woodham that Michelet has put a £100m bid in for Ronaldo. The fan club can't work out any other reason for the why the clubs new striker has been put up for sale. Sources at the club decline to comment further until transfers are complete.
Warriors go top
'After a remarkable run of form Warriors go top' - was the headline in the Woodham Echo. Followed by a plea from the fans for the manager to stay in the outback permanently.
"I'm back, and ready for a title push" was heard from the chairmans office. Michelet also revealed that significant funds were available to strengthen where necessary. Michelet continued "We will only buy young talented players that add something to the squad."