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Escamilla in Round 10

Written by Jus19

We have a quick chat with Escamilla's manager, before his R10 cup game this week.

Your team, Escamilla has knocked out RC Twin Peaks (526387538), troubled fc (on penalties) (526515360) and Prem side Jol-lification (526631959) in the last 3 rounds, posting lower hatstats than your opponent in each match. You are now into R10 (the last 16) which matches your previous best in s32, s34, s35 & s36 (2007/08), and have only to beat Hairy Chinese Kids to go one better.

Just where have you been for the last 7 years?

Aye, I've just been a bit lucky in the cup this season. There’s not much more I can say really. I've just tried to put up a decent midfield and maybe pull some kind of attack together. I’ve just been really, really, lucky ha ha, I definitely should have been knocked out a round or two ago.

My team is just bumbling along now after a failed rebuild. 7 years is a long time to bumble about I suppose, but yeah, that’s about it I'm afraid.

You took charge of your team on 21st August 2003, and have spent 3 seasons in II.2 (s35-37), finishing 2nd there in s36. What did you do wrong to prevent you from getting into the Premiership all those years ago? I guess your current league situation, being p8 in III.1 doesn't exactly fill your fans with confidence that you are about to get there with the current squad, so what is the plan?

Ah yeah, my glory days back in II.2....

Season 36, I remember it well. It all came down to the penultimate game of the season, a game which if I had won would have been promoted us into the Prem.

You could train general back then, rather than any specific training. What did general do, did it improve TS? I can’t remember exactly now, but anyway I was on general training all season, and I'd maxed TS with no injuries, with solid form...

Ahhh, was that it? General training, maybe it boosted form?

I dunno, I really can’t remember. Anyways, I was completely ready for it, just win the penultimate game (as the last game of the season was a gimme) and I'd be in the Prem. I probably even had a clown back then, ha ha, what were they meant to do again? Maybe they provided another boost? To TS, or form or something else maybe? Then the HT myth busters came along, provided a link to snopes or summat' to say that it was all nonsense, and that having a popular solid leadership player in the squad was completely irrelevant and that was that, the death of the clown. Turned out they did nowt after all...

Oh yeah, so anyway, my team was in a fantastic position to win and promote to the Prem. I was actually feeling pretty confident about it. Then the whistle blew. Escamilla vs Pirate FC. We were staring victory in the face and then we blew it…

Nah, even that dream wasn't it. We were just completely stuffed, Pirates won 7-1 (184115085), and it was them that got promoted to the Prem. It was them that won the cup soon after, and it was them that conquered the world and ruined all my HT dreams...

But, yeah back to today and my current squad still isn’t good enough. I'm a bit disappointed really. Maybe time for another rebuild? I guess home grown is probably the best way to go now, I'd have to start investing in a youth squad for that though?

If you have a favourite tune of 2015 so far, please provide a link to vimeo/utube/soundcloud for us to listen, but an older classic tune would be just as interesting?

Not necessarily 2015, but bands worth supporting-

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5EmLOrEHJ4)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JIBj6u3KMU)

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRj9IRgWYjw)

My advice is to just steer well clear of pop, and instead to support real bands playing real music, whether that be punk, metal, ska, even country, whatever you like. Just please don’t buy into the fake music industry.

If a fan wanted to buy you a pint, which pub or bar would it be easiest to find you in, and what's your poison?

Probably the Turks Head. (https://b.geolocation.ws/img/001/065/453-F.jpg) My local. It’s awful really, a bit grim but on the other hand it does have live gigs for local bands every so often. They don't do fancy drinks or real ales though, just warm pints of fosters in cracked lipstick stained glasses. A proper local.

You are a gold supporter, and a member of 8 federations. What do you make of these new supporter prices and what will the impact be for you?

I only really post in a couple of them feds and then not that much. I like The Teabag society and the Werewolf fed. So yeah, I dunno, I could probably give supporter up. I do like having a strip and logo and whatever else though. It's pricey but I'll keep paying it I guess. I thought about having platinum or whichever one it is you need for a second team, but nah it's nor worth it now.

How would you explain going out for a "Cheeky Nandos" to a visiting American?

Ha ha, I dunno, you just gan for a cheeky nandos on the sly.

Your manager page states that you are a Darlington fan. According to Wiki Darlington 1883 (formerly Darlington FC) has been promoted to the Northern Premier Division this season under Martin Gray, who was converted to a coach by the club. In hattrick terms, is he a passable coach with poor leadership, or do you think he will be able to PIC the way out of the non-league divisions?

Reckon maybe he'll pic all season for a playoff spot, then blow it all and lose on a MOTs...

Please tell us how/where you met your other half (or last conquest), and how he/she feels about your hattrick addiction?

I met her in the glorious, previously mentioned Turks Head. It’s a beautiful story really. It was a warm summers evening and as I casually strolled to the outside seating area of the bar, our eyes met and she’s...

Nah this didn’t happen this way either. It was a bit dark and drizzly, we were getting hammered in the beer garden, I'd seen she had a pack of rizlas so I asked her for a rollie, and it went from there...

Aye, she’s fine with HT, we even have a son named George Carey...

Ok, ok so our son isn’t called George Carey, but aye I think she’s fine with Ht, I don’t actually think I spend that much time on here really.

Have you ever been to a hattrick social event, if so please tell us about it, if not will you please arrange one?

Nah, never been to one, maybe one day though. If anyone happens to be up nearabouts and wants to meet in the Turks Head for a warm Fosters, I'll be up for it.

When was the last time you kicked a ball, and what happened?

Bare feet at Redcar beach (http://www.surfsanctuary.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/IMG_4617.jpeg) a couple weeks a go. Just blasting the ball at the kids that were getting donkey rides.

Reet, I'm off. Cheers.