Stanley spokesman, Harold Wannadance, has been seen cavorting with bobsville secretary Sherrilee. It is understood to be the one and only time they will ever meet, as the bobs team has been sent to another series with Stanley looking set to be the whipping boys of the series.

Yep, Stanley are in the 1018.

The fledgling outfit, already franchised to Northern Ireland, has been busy trying to shore up its rickety teamsheet, with lack of depth across the board looking likely to delay any attack on the top of the table.

Wannadance remarked:

"Our team may be small, but we are a great one too. A Team of spanish hasbeens, of overpriced, overpaid wastrels. But hell, they brought our team the notion of "seista", and thats ok by me...."

Hello to all in the 1018, and good luck for the season!

Stanley owner, oil oligarch Boris Vandownavitchev, has played down the rumours that the minnows of VI.964 will be jumping ship and joining one of the hardest divisions in the VI bracket in the next couple of days.

"Eef TPPA can exist in the league, Stanley should haf nil problem," he has been recorded saying, passing reporters bags of cash.

The press await the fun and games that will ensue.

Kveðjur frá Kingsway Hattrick Association íslenska Branch. Við erum nokkrir liðin frá Rochdale Englandi og við höfum fylgt í fótspor norrænu þjóðflokkum, Keltar, Kerry Katona ... og mums okkar með því að koma til Íslands. Ég hlakka til að spila gegn mörgum af þér á næstu vikum, mánuðum og vonandi árum.

Greetings from Kingsway Hattrick Association Icelandic Branch. We are several teams from Rochdale England and we have followed in the footsteps of the Nordic tribes, the Celts, Kerry Katona... and our mums by coming to Iceland. I look forward to playing against many of you in the coming weeks, months and hopefully years.

Looking forward to the new challenge.

Moon were today relegated back to V as news filtered through that 10% of the supporters weren't renewing their season tickets. Moonhead wasn't best pleased and flippantly remarked ' so some fans have decided not to renew eh? Well screw em the glory hunting tossers, if they aren't prepared to back us then who needs them, they'll be back when we promote & that attitude really grinds my gears the potato faced gits! We need support from our fans to help us push on and be prepared for IV if we get there, I think people forget that this is a young squad with huge potential and they should be prepared to accept the lows in order to fully appreciate the high's, the tosser's ' A source close to the club revealed that upon learning the news moonhead threw a half eaten apple at the reporter in disgust. As a result moonhead has been banned from future press conferences for 1 month and ordered to attend anger management class. When quizzed about his antiques moonhead simply replied ' Piss Off '