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Larry's Long Shot

Written by LarryPampushky

It is Cup Final day s67. Several thousand virtual fans have spent the day queuing up to see the English Champions and former Cup holders, Shakhtar Donuts, take on bimbobob's Angry Death's Hat-trick.

Larry Pampushsky took time out from his match preparations to answer a few questions from hattrick press. It isn't the first time he's been interviewed, and you can read his previous one here:- (20032)

At the time of writing, you sit top of the Premiership, 3 points clear of 2nd, and are in the cup final. Do you think you can pull off the double?

It’s possible but I think unlikely that I can win both. I suspect I will lose the midfield battle in the final and all three of the following league matches, so it is perhaps extremely unlikely that’ll win anything at all. They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but I’m not sure they've ever played Hattrick.

This season, many predicted that the introduction of a new SE event engine and man-marking would undermine long shots teams. How has it affected your team, and how have you adapted, particularly with the threat posed by teams in the Prem or Cup operating with a man-marker?

Yes, I had a few doom-filled conversations with fellow LS managers at the start of the season, some of whom sold up their teams. The changes to the SE engine weren’t kind to my team, but I haven’t really done anything about it - I’d like to buy an unpredictable Long Shot player, but they’re as rare as hen’s teeth. I have had to switch my midfield about (swapping them into defensive positions) in order to dodge man-markers, and that seems to have worked on the whole, although it has hurt my midfield strength in doing so, so it’s damaged my team anyway. I did buy a powerful man-marker myself, but he hasn’t had much game time so far (they don’t count towards the LS rating it seems, so are a bit awkward to use). I have to say I don’t like the man-marking system at all, as it requires too much effort, in terms of scouting, to really use effectively.

Your ten home grown players, at the core of your squad are now aged 32-33. They should be good for at least a couple more seasons until their stamina drops to passable. Have you a plan as to how you'd rebuild. Would you build another LS team from scratch using home grown players and if not, could you tell us what you think you'd like to do instead?

I’m not sure how long I’ll go on with this team. As usual, I’m thinking about selling up at the end of the season, but at the same time wondering if I should come up with a sustainable plan to go on forever. I really should build a 5-2-3 CA side with a big hole in the middle so that the Donuts team name makes more sense. Otherwise, I’ll probably just 'retire' and train U20 players.

Following on from this question, having managed an LS team for a long time does it get boring playing one way every game or does your success make that irrelevant? With that in mind would you recommend it to others?

I chose long shots because it is the easiest way to train a large core of homegrown players, so I’d recommend it from that point of view. I played the ‘normal’ way with my previous team for 9 years so I have plenty of experience of that, but I don’t think it was vastly more interesting - the weekly choice of whether to play CA or not isn’t that exciting. To be honest, Hattrick is pretty boring whichever you play it!

What is your favourite quote?

"If your opponent is of choleric temper, irritate him." Sun Tzu.

(I don't really have a favourite quote, but you could probably write a book about The Art of War and its applications to Hattrick....)

What was your favourite tune/track from the last 12 months?

Car Seat Headrest - "Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales"

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccztRby3FAk)

Seems that is from longer than 12 months ago but at my age, that is like last week.

You've won the Cup before and won the Prem last season, and if you win the Cup today, you'll be representing England in the Masters for the third time. This season you were knocked out by Broscute of Yemen who went on to win their 2nd Masters title in a row. (620853961) On another day you might well have beaten them, please could you tell us what had happened in the lead up to this game (your run of PIC/PIN/MoTS) that meant your m/f wasn't quite high enough on the day? How important do you think the Masters Cup is for the game? Should there be a Master's League?

My Masters strategy was quite straightforward/simple-minded. I PINed all the games without paying too much attention to it. My problem with midfield in that game stemmed from him managing to man-mark one of my IMs (it was pretty even at 0 mins). I would like to change a previous answer: "man-marking has ruined my season - it cost me the Masters!"

I don’t think the Masters is important to the game at all. It’s not something I’ve ever seriously followed. I wouldn’t change it though.

What was the last book you read and was it any good?

D-Day: The Battle for Normandy by Antony Beevor. Yes, it was very good if you like books about war. Fascinating and shocking. I’ve read two of his others about the battles for Stalingrad and Berlin and they’re equally good.

Last time we spoke you told us that your first gig was to see New Order. What's the most recent gig you've been to, and have you booked tickets to see anyone this year?

Actually it’s been a couple of years since I’ve been to a gig. I last saw Tindersticks in Gateshead in May 2016. I think I saw The Wedding Present (one of my old favourites) and Belle and Sebastian (Mrs P is a fan) shortly before. Not music, but I do have tickets to see the mighty Imps play at Wembley in the prestigious Checkatrade Trophy final next month :-)

Would you rather have sweat that smelled of pineapple or iron fingernails (the fingernails would grow as they normally do just in iron instead of keratin). Please explain your thinking behind your answer.

Interesting. The iron fingernails sound useful, but I’m not sure what for and they’d be a hassle to cut. I quite like the smell of pineapple so I’d go for that.

If you could invite four historical figures to dinner at your house, who would they be?

Evariste Galois (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89variste_Galois)
Amelia Earhart (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amelia_Earhart)
Jimi Hendrix (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLV4_xaYynY)
Ferdinand Porsche (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferdinand_Porsche)

And what would you cook for them?

Lentil curry