Community » Hattrick Press

Underdog (from Sweden)

Written by Uteistuga

This week we interview Uteistuga who will be hosting reigning Prem Champions Vince Hilaire's Afro this evening in R4 of the English Cup.

Your platinum 2nd team, Moonshiner knocked out II.4 side Hornbeam Harriers (554193013) last week. A corner-head SE combined with one successful long shot from 3 LS chances was enough to give you a 2-1 win. They opted to CA gifting you midfield, and relying on side attacks alone to convert those CA chances. In the end, they scored with a left sided CA, and missed their Set piece CA chance. You must be delighted?

This is of course just the beginning of a great empire so it'd be a shame to be too happy now... Joking aside, it was a tough match. It felt a bit like having Luke Skywalker's chances against the Death Star. In a few seasons, it is my goal to have built up my own Death Star and maybe then some new Luke Skywalker type will kick my ass.

You took charge of this 2nd team on 25/08/13, which was approximately 1 season after platinum second teams became available to managers. Why the delay, and what was the thinking behind choosing to develop a 2nd team here in England?

To be honest, I didn’t know that you could get an additional team. I saw some other hattrick-player that had two teams and I thought he was cheating and I was thinking about alerting the GMs. Then I realized that it was perfectly permissible and applied for a team in England. I picked England because I think we all love England in one way or another - myself, I love your humor.

You started your other team, Bråten IFK, in Sweden 08/08/11, which makes you a bit of a noob in Swedish hattrick terms doesn't it? That team actually doesn't look to be quite as strong as your English one right now, so what are you planning?

I have just sold my Swedish team players in order to build a new LS team. With my English team, I have made so many mistakes. Probably more than Frodo did when he was supposed to throw the ring in that big grey mountain. I mean ... why didn’t they fly to the mountain if Gandalf could talk to the eagles? I’m still upset by this...

[Ed. LoRs trilogy was roughly 9 hours longer than it could have been]

If you have a favourite tune from 2015, please provide a link to vimeo/utube/soundcloud for us to listen, but an older classic tune would be fine too.

I am so sorry for this:-

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qk_Vu6AcbWg)

Bråten, is a town near Oslo in Norway isn't it, so please could you explain why your Swedish team named after a Norwegian town?

Perhaps it is that too. But the village I refer to is located in Sweden and it is my home village (http://aff.bstatic.com/images/hotel/max500/247/24789724.jpg). A long time ago Bråten was an old village where retired circus performers, mainly acrobats, moved to when they were too old to continue. My parents used to be acrobats and when I was young I got to travel with the circus as a child and this was an awesome adventure.

Please provide a link to your favourite work of art?

I only like artists who suffered a painful and anguished blue period. This Swedish artist blue paintings are amazing:

(http://sandgrund.org/galleri/)

What have you found most noticeable about the recent changes to the match engine, player contribution revisions, and staff changes

I think the staff. They are becoming more flexible and provide more interesting choices.

Please tell us how/where you met your other half (or last conquest), and how he/she feels about your hattrick addiction?

I was very drunk one night and was looking for mussels along the Argentine coast in summer 2009 (as you do). Guess I looked pretty funny with my cyclops and a tight wetsuit. Then this one girl, who probably even more drunk then I was, started stabbing her pointy finger in my chest and asked ‘why do you kill these poor mussels?’. I explained that we all knew what vicious souls they really are, and that I'd never forgive them for murdering Elvis Presley… and it sort of went from there. Now all I have to do is to try to think of a good answer as to why I spend time on hattrick…

Moonshine is typically regarded as illicitly produced, high proof alcoholic beverage. Do you know how to make the stuff and have you any tips as to things to avoid, or indeed that can improve the recipe for success?

The team's name comes from my favorite artist Bob Dylan who has a song called Moonshiner. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b43BAQFDOcM) But if you try to make moonshine here are some great tips:

1. Take a clean glass carboy, which houses about twenty-five liter.
2. Fill it with lukewarm water directly from the tap, seven kilos of sugar and a packet of yeast.
3. Place the bottle at your element, there it will ferments the best. [Ed. I'm not even going to try editing this]

Once the bottle has been there for twelve days you add one kilo of sugar. Then you wait until the ferment ends.

4. Take a pot with a lid that is tight and attach a soft copper tube of three meters in length.
5. You will then bend the copper tube into an arc, over the sink into a bucket.
6. In the bucket, the copper tube should be shaped into a spiral which should be cooled by water. The copper tube should go out of the bucket at the bottom.

Now you have your own device and it is ready to go my friend. Turn it on until it is 85 degrees hot and then you shall see that it gets results. It should starts to flow so easily [Ed. sooo sooo easily] and you should see crystal clear drops running through the tube of copper. Taste it if you like and in the end, when only water comes, add the distillate and run it again. You get four liters of fluid which is then filtered in finely ground coal [Ed. Just nip down the local Coal Merchants for that, if you can't find any in Tesco]. If you so wish, you can flavor it, or drink it and say cheers!

[Ed. I'm glad I asked]

What was your first car (or bike) and what happened to it?

My first car disappeared into a lake when my brother got the idea to play scientist and to see if the ice would hold it's weight. He never became a scientist after that.

So stupid.